I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
