She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
