Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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