ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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