Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
