i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
