dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
