She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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