I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
