ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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