brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
