Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
