Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Randomize
