She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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