He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
