It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
