A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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