I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
