You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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