I want to make a zoo with you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize