mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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