Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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