I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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