"it" just moved
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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