Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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