My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
