I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hope mine doesn't look like that
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
