just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
