So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Welp...herpes.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
