i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
