I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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