You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Even my vagina gasped.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
