Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
