he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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