the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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