It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
