Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
