she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
