Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
