considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
