My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
