What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
