so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize