It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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