I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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