yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
