I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize