I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize