what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
