I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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