thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
