i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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