There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish you could order shots online.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
