And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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