can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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