He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
