I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
