Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
