We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
