I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
