His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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